Congratulations on your new book Clare! Goodness what a horrible review, which says more about her than about you. I hope you keep reading all the other reviews and let those sink in instead xx
Thank you so much, Kate - I really appreciate your lovely words 🥰 It's so hard when your brain fixates on the bad ones rather than the good. I've been blown away by all the kind comments and emails I've had about this though, from people who feel the same about focusing on negative feedback. It's nice to know we're not alone and that people still cheer each other on! xx
I suppose it’s a case of ‘each to their own’ in some respects; not everyone has to like everyone else’s ideas/art/methods etc. HOWEVER, if this book contains anywhere near the level of gorgeousness as your previous book, your website and your other projects then I fail to see how this person can have taken ‘nothing’ from your book. Their life must be very drab and colourless.
YOU are what got me into embroidery. Your ideas, colour choices, enthusiasm, honesty-it blew me away and opened me up into a wonderful hobby.
This person is just clearly not on the same wavelength 🤷🏼♀️ to heck with them!
Aww Sam! 🥹 Thank you so much for this - I'm so happy that my designs inspire you so much. It's wonderful to see that embroidery brings you so much joy! I really appreciate your kind words and you're absolutely right, not everyone has to like someone's art/methods. It definitely says more about them if they're going to leave such a bad review.
Your beautiful work is so inspiring and I can only think that the person leaving the one star review was two things. Firstly they are one of these types of people who think they know it all. They usually don’t! and secondly they are as jealous as anyone could ever be of you and your creativity, positivity and your beautiful book! This person would come into the category on social media as just one of those nasty rude trolls. I wouldn’t give this person another second of my life. You are so incredible and don’t forget it! I don’t usually leave comments like this but it just got me so mad that someone could be so cruel. You are lovely ♥️🥰🌈 keep shining x
Riffing off of Karrie's first point, there are a lot of needleworkers out there who are nothing more than pretentious bee-ya-ches. These are the folks who have spent their entire creative lives doing one reproduction sampler after another and looking down their noses at all of the ideas emerging from today's modern embroidery artists as some sort of bourgeois trash.
This is very similar to what happened in the quilting world about 10 years ago when Modern Quilting came on the scene and began taking over all the quilt cons in the U.S. The traditional quilting world were appalled at how the Modernists were winning all the prize money for quilts that, according to them, 'didn't follow the rules.' But, here we are all these years later with not only the traditionalists still hanging in there with organizations like the American Quilt Society, but also a whole new sector of quilting creatives represented by the Modern Quilt Guild.
For my part, I always ignore negative reviews like this as they simply make generic pronouncements and are clearly centered on the reviewer's closed-minded world view. I know that doesn't help when it comes to publishers freaking out and whatnot, but I hope it gives a broader and slightly brighter perspective.
And yes, to echo Karrie's conclusion, folks like this are nothing more than ugly trolls!
Thank you so much for your lovely reply, Joan - it's so helpful to read this! You're right, ideas move on and develop but some people don't move with it do they? I really appreciate you taking the time to write this, thank you! ❤️
Oh thank you for taking the time to write this, Karrie! 🩷 I'd never really thought about this person being a troll - I tend to think of trolls as persistent offenders, and I count myself very lucky that I've never experienced that kind of abuse online. But maybe you're right?! I really appreciate your kind words about me and my work, it honestly means the world. Thank you so much! I hope that sharing this experience helps someone else who has received negative feedback to process it too 🩷 xx
My therapist helped me by explaining that the reason a negative like a one star review eclipses multiple positives is to do with evolution. In the early days our survival as humans depended on being part of the group. Any kind of rejection ran the risk of exclusion from the group and was a risk to an individual's survival. We still maintain that base fear in today's society. Even though a one star review isn't going to lead to anything like social exclusion or a risk to survival, we can't fight this type of evolutionary conditioning. This awareness helped me (also a perfectionist) to be able to be more dismissive of a negative person like that because I can say, ah well, evolution, shrug. I still find it challenging but understanding why I was hyper-focused on the negatives over the positives did help.
Hello Elaine! Lovely to meet another fellow perfectionist 👋🏻 Thank you so much for taking the time to share this - that's so interesting and as you say, really helpful to know this! It is really hard not to hyper-focus on it, and even though your brain knows that it doesn't matter it just can't help it. I'm going to remember this and also try to shrug it off as evolution! Thank you so much 🥰
You’ve taken all the available sparkle from their one star and turned it into this gem of an article Clare! And that’s all you can do :) keep on being you. ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️
It's hard to read a review like that, and it's understandable to feel rocked but then you shake it off. I think it's particularly tough when it's still on pre-order or just out. Other people will review it and the 1* will fade. Even books that are lauded and have thousands of reviews have 1- and 2-star reviews. You realise, you can't please everyone.
Thank you for this, Nat 🥰 I really appreciate your kind words! I'm working on not taking everything personally, and I'm glad to have been able to move on from it and see it for what it is now. That's a really good point about books with thousands of reviews - I hadn't thought of it like that!
Yay for small projects! 🥰 I love knitting but I like admiring other people's - I can't count haha 😂 I'd love to see a photo if you stitch this! Also do you follow Louise Tilbrook at Everyday Knitter? It's a wonderful Substack that you'd love if you don't already read it!
Congratulations on your new book Clare! Goodness what a horrible review, which says more about her than about you. I hope you keep reading all the other reviews and let those sink in instead xx
Thank you so much, Kate - I really appreciate your lovely words 🥰 It's so hard when your brain fixates on the bad ones rather than the good. I've been blown away by all the kind comments and emails I've had about this though, from people who feel the same about focusing on negative feedback. It's nice to know we're not alone and that people still cheer each other on! xx
I suppose it’s a case of ‘each to their own’ in some respects; not everyone has to like everyone else’s ideas/art/methods etc. HOWEVER, if this book contains anywhere near the level of gorgeousness as your previous book, your website and your other projects then I fail to see how this person can have taken ‘nothing’ from your book. Their life must be very drab and colourless.
YOU are what got me into embroidery. Your ideas, colour choices, enthusiasm, honesty-it blew me away and opened me up into a wonderful hobby.
This person is just clearly not on the same wavelength 🤷🏼♀️ to heck with them!
Aww Sam! 🥹 Thank you so much for this - I'm so happy that my designs inspire you so much. It's wonderful to see that embroidery brings you so much joy! I really appreciate your kind words and you're absolutely right, not everyone has to like someone's art/methods. It definitely says more about them if they're going to leave such a bad review.
Your beautiful work is so inspiring and I can only think that the person leaving the one star review was two things. Firstly they are one of these types of people who think they know it all. They usually don’t! and secondly they are as jealous as anyone could ever be of you and your creativity, positivity and your beautiful book! This person would come into the category on social media as just one of those nasty rude trolls. I wouldn’t give this person another second of my life. You are so incredible and don’t forget it! I don’t usually leave comments like this but it just got me so mad that someone could be so cruel. You are lovely ♥️🥰🌈 keep shining x
Claire,
Riffing off of Karrie's first point, there are a lot of needleworkers out there who are nothing more than pretentious bee-ya-ches. These are the folks who have spent their entire creative lives doing one reproduction sampler after another and looking down their noses at all of the ideas emerging from today's modern embroidery artists as some sort of bourgeois trash.
This is very similar to what happened in the quilting world about 10 years ago when Modern Quilting came on the scene and began taking over all the quilt cons in the U.S. The traditional quilting world were appalled at how the Modernists were winning all the prize money for quilts that, according to them, 'didn't follow the rules.' But, here we are all these years later with not only the traditionalists still hanging in there with organizations like the American Quilt Society, but also a whole new sector of quilting creatives represented by the Modern Quilt Guild.
For my part, I always ignore negative reviews like this as they simply make generic pronouncements and are clearly centered on the reviewer's closed-minded world view. I know that doesn't help when it comes to publishers freaking out and whatnot, but I hope it gives a broader and slightly brighter perspective.
And yes, to echo Karrie's conclusion, folks like this are nothing more than ugly trolls!
Thank you so much for your lovely reply, Joan - it's so helpful to read this! You're right, ideas move on and develop but some people don't move with it do they? I really appreciate you taking the time to write this, thank you! ❤️
Oh thank you for taking the time to write this, Karrie! 🩷 I'd never really thought about this person being a troll - I tend to think of trolls as persistent offenders, and I count myself very lucky that I've never experienced that kind of abuse online. But maybe you're right?! I really appreciate your kind words about me and my work, it honestly means the world. Thank you so much! I hope that sharing this experience helps someone else who has received negative feedback to process it too 🩷 xx
My therapist helped me by explaining that the reason a negative like a one star review eclipses multiple positives is to do with evolution. In the early days our survival as humans depended on being part of the group. Any kind of rejection ran the risk of exclusion from the group and was a risk to an individual's survival. We still maintain that base fear in today's society. Even though a one star review isn't going to lead to anything like social exclusion or a risk to survival, we can't fight this type of evolutionary conditioning. This awareness helped me (also a perfectionist) to be able to be more dismissive of a negative person like that because I can say, ah well, evolution, shrug. I still find it challenging but understanding why I was hyper-focused on the negatives over the positives did help.
Hello Elaine! Lovely to meet another fellow perfectionist 👋🏻 Thank you so much for taking the time to share this - that's so interesting and as you say, really helpful to know this! It is really hard not to hyper-focus on it, and even though your brain knows that it doesn't matter it just can't help it. I'm going to remember this and also try to shrug it off as evolution! Thank you so much 🥰
You’ve taken all the available sparkle from their one star and turned it into this gem of an article Clare! And that’s all you can do :) keep on being you. ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️
Oh Sarah! 🥰 Thank you so much, that's so kind of you!
It's hard to read a review like that, and it's understandable to feel rocked but then you shake it off. I think it's particularly tough when it's still on pre-order or just out. Other people will review it and the 1* will fade. Even books that are lauded and have thousands of reviews have 1- and 2-star reviews. You realise, you can't please everyone.
Thank you for this, Nat 🥰 I really appreciate your kind words! I'm working on not taking everything personally, and I'm glad to have been able to move on from it and see it for what it is now. That's a really good point about books with thousands of reviews - I hadn't thought of it like that!
I absolutely love the bookmark! Is this in the book?
Thank you, Pam! Yes - all of the projects in this post are in the book 🥰 do you do lots of stitching?
I’m more of a knitter but I like to stitch small projects (like a bookmark!) 💜
Yay for small projects! 🥰 I love knitting but I like admiring other people's - I can't count haha 😂 I'd love to see a photo if you stitch this! Also do you follow Louise Tilbrook at Everyday Knitter? It's a wonderful Substack that you'd love if you don't already read it!