Thanks for the feedback!

On acknowledging bad reviews and learning to be okay with knowing that you're not for everyone

Photo: © Jesse Wild from my second book, The Modern Embroidery Handbook (2024)

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Hi friends! I’m Clare Albans, a hand embroidery artist who loves craft and colour. I’m here to encourage you to take time out to be creative! Sign up for free project inspiration, honest chats about the ups and downs of the creative process, and tips and tricks to help you find your creative joy. Join my paid space for my hand embroidery patterns and to be part of our growing stitching community (find out more here).

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I have had this post in my drafts for a couple of months now because I wasn’t even sure whether to share it. But I have always been transparent about aspects of my business and creative journey, and this felt like something that I needed to share. Whether or not it proves to be a good way to promote my book, who knows?! 😂 But for anyone else who compares themselves to others or finds hearing negative feedback hard, this one is for you.

My second book, The Modern Embroidery Handbook, was meant to come out last weekend on 30th March, but there has been a bit of delay in publication due to something with the printers and it’s looking more like mid April now (correct at time of writing). I can’t wait to finally hold a copy in my hands, and as my publisher doesn’t send out advance copies, that means that I basically get to see it at the same time as you do!

I’m so SO proud of the projects in this book. I really wanted to cover lots of different techniques that anyone could try, regardless of their stitching ability or confidence levels. I want it to be something that you’ll refer to time and again, and readers can also watch the tutorial videos that accompany the book on my YouTube channel too. There’s a QR code in the back to access additional content, and digital templates will be available through that on publication.

I mentioned in a recent newsletter that I’ve really got into my head about the book reviews this time around, and that I wasn’t exactly sure why that is. I’ve been thinking about it a lot because it developed into being a bit of a creative energy block for a while. I was generally feeling a bit exhausted, wondering how I’d find the energy to really push to promote my book this time around. And then I realised that someone has written the worst review of my work that I’ve ever received, and to be honest it was really hard to read and process.

As a recovering perfectionist, it’s tough to read the words of someone saying ‘it would be hard to come up with a list of projects I liked the look of less’. 😱 Along with a 1* rating, this was closely followed up with ‘Usually I come away from an embroidery handbook with at least a couple of new stitches and some project ideas, but this one I came away empty handed...’ Wow. What can I even say to that?!

Reading feedback like this doesn’t feel good. Seeing a 1* review doesn’t feel much better either. Although there are lots of lovely reviews, it’s so frustrating to primarily focus on the worst one. Why do we do that? I don’t even know this person, does it matter what they think? Do reviews even matter? Well, to be honest yes they do - they can have a big impact on preorders and that makes a big difference to authors and publishers. So in some ways a review like this doesn’t help that much.

I genuinely didn’t know what to do with this opinion and initially I was absolutely gutted. I felt really sad that that’s what they thought about my work. I also felt sad because it took a hell of a lot to get this book finished - it was truly a beast of a project. The reviewer doesn’t necessarily know that during the process of writing it I’d gone through so much, including closing my studio, finding a new tenant to take it on and working 3 jobs to be able to cover the rent until they moved in, whilst home educating and trying to stay as sane. Going through some major family stuff whilst trying to do the edits and make sure everything was right. It was the hardest year ever and I was working every moment I could on creating these projects for my book, and the fact that I even finished it was a massive personal achievement.

I chatted to my friends Daria and Louise about it, and they reminded me that it is just one person’s opinion - people might read the review and discard it anyway, looking at all of the other reviews as well. One bad review doesn’t mean that nobody will enjoy my book! They also pointed out that the people who review books for free before publication aren’t necessarily crafters or people who would buy a copy. The pre-publication reviews may be important in lots of ways, but the people whose opinion matters most to me are the people who buy it and stitch the projects in it. People like you who have supported my work and my journey, and I’m so incredibly grateful to you all for being here 🩷

I’m also incredibly grateful for my friends who talk openly and honestly about all of this with me. Chatting through it all meant that after a while, I started to feel better about the whole thing. It doesn’t matter that the 1* reviewer doesn’t like it. It’s not for them and that’s all good. Would I have left such a scathing review of something on preorder (or published, for that matter)? Absolutely not - but maybe that’s because I’m coming at it from a different position to them. I guess all I can say is thanks for the feedback!

So to balance this post a little, here are some of the positive reviews:

By golly where do I begin. I absolutely love this book! It got me at the cover. The bright colors drew me in and the patterns are beautiful. 
The pictures and explanations are excellent and easy to understand. 
As an embroider I was taken with the mix of designs, colors and elements used. There was something for everyone no matter the skill level. 

This embroidery tutorial book is FUN! I use a lot of different mediums in my art, but embroidery is my very favorite. I love the ideas Clare adds to this book, the colors she picked, and the stitches. There were so many I didn’t even know about! I feel inspired 🙂✨ 

I love embroidery but this book takes ideas to a whole new level. Very cute projects that can be made by a beginner or advanced sewer. Instructions and graphics are detailed and easy to read. My favorite was the embroidery on the sneakers, which I would have never guessed could be so simple to do. Lots of fun ideas.

If you love my embroidery style and you think that you’d like a copy (despite the 1* review 😂), you can preorder your copy from my website 👇🏻

It’s also available to preorder via my publisher, on Amazon and Bookshop.org. You’ll find a selection of kits for some of the kits on my website too.

So how can we work through negative feedback or bad reviews?

Here are a few tips for when you need them. Talk through them with a friend or even journal your answers - they are things that help me to work things out:

1. Sit with the feedback and acknowledge it - there’s no point in pretending it doesn’t exist because being in denial isn’t constructive. In order to process those difficult feelings we need to sit with them, which can be really hard (especially if this is a new approach for you).

2. Name the feelings you’re feeling - this is another really important aspect of allowing yourself to begin to move on. Are you angry? Frustrated? Disappointed? Why are you feeling this feeling (or feelings) predominantly?

3. Identify whether you can do anything about it right now - is there something you can do to improve things now? Or do you need to identify what you’ll do differently next time?

4. Respond if necessary - but only when you’ve had time to do all of the above. Responding if you’re angry isn’t always the best plan! If you don’t know the person and decide it’s not worth responding then that’s also fine. Do what works for you at the end of the day.

5. Work out how to move forward - make a plan, learn from the experience and try and move on. Dwelling on the negative stuff isn’t a great use of time and energy long-term. Put that energy into creating something new, go for a walk or put on some loud music. Whatever makes you feel better!

6. Know that you’re not for everyone - this is a tough lesson to learn but we can’t be liked by everyone. What we put out into the world will not be liked or appreciated by everyone. The key is not to let that stop you from creating, or from being completely yourself in this world. There are people out there who are your people.

7. Think about the good stuff - focus on the positive feedback that you’ve received in order to help you move forward. Remember why you started, and think about how being creative makes you feel - both of these things are so much more important than any 1* review or negative comment.

Is there anything you’d add to this list? Let me know in the comments as I’d love to hear your thoughts 👇🏻

If you have enjoyed this post, you might also enjoy listening to an honest chat with me on The Small Business Club Podcast! A huge thanks to Simone for making me feel so welcome. You can find the episode here:

Please remember that what you bring to the world creatively is a wonderful thing that’s totally unique to you. I hope that any negative feedback won’t stop you from creating or putting yourself out there. You’ve got this 💖